


open hand or closed fist would be fine

by HQcharbon (fleurdelester)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cuddling, Fluff, Homework, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rain, Second Year Hinata Shouyou and Kageyama Tobio, kageyama is touch-starved, not really hurt mostly comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:14:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27237100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleurdelester/pseuds/HQcharbon
Summary: At first, he wasn’t quite sure why he enjoyed the hugs so much, if you had asked him in his first year for a hug, he probably would’ve told you to leave him alone. So why was it that he was always leaning back into whoever was crushing him in their arms? Why was he longing for their warmth after they let go, wishing it had lasted longer?orKageyama is a little touch starved, and Hinata is a good friend.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 19
Kudos: 274





	open hand or closed fist would be fine

**Author's Note:**

> i can have a little touch-starved kageyama, as a treat. 
> 
> title is from hozier's "cherry wine"

When Kageyama first joined Karasuno, he was a little out of date on the etiquette of team dynamics. In his last year of middle school, his team had rejected him, so he was never been invited to join in on any of the fun team bonding activities they did. Now that he had a team that was willing and ready to accept him, he felt out of place, awkward and clunky, whenever they tried to initiate things with him. He would stare blankly at Tanaka’s outstretched hands, be forcibly brought in so his senpai would pat his head, and he would regularly topple to the ground under the weight of a group hug.

It all reminded him of his childhood ideas of what his future team would look like, back when he used to watch v-league games with his sister. He’d come to cherish all of the rituals he’d been able to be a part of with this new team, and though he’d never admit it to anyone, the group hugs after they won a match were his favourite.

At first, he wasn’t quite sure why he enjoyed the hugs so much, if you had asked him in his first year for a hug, he probably would’ve told you to leave him alone. So why was it that he was always leaning back into whoever was crushing him in their arms? Why was he longing for their warmth after they let go, wishing it had lasted longer? 

Touch outside of volleyball was rare, restricted to occasionally bumping shoulders with people as he passed them in the hallways, light brushes of Yachi’s fingers as she handed him the jerseys for practice games, Hinata’s knees pressing into his as they ate around a small classroom desk.

All of it felt simultaneously like too much and not enough. He wasn’t sure what was worse, the burn on his skin whenever someone was close to him, distracting him entirely from his surroundings, or the sensation of ice chilling down his spine when they left.

And it’s not like this was a rare predicament for him either, since now Hinata sat right in front of him all day in class 2-2 (he’d argued that he’d have to sit in front other wise he’d never see the board, teasing him about being _too tall, bakageyama-kun_ ).

At first, he was excited to be in the same class as Hinata, since he’d never had a friend in the same class he could instantly turn to and eat lunch with, to do group projects with. They’d started a routine of Hinata just turning his chair around and sliding his legs under Kageyama’s desk to work together and eat together, their knees bumping against each other while Hinata would flail around while talking about whatever crazy thing Natsu did yesterday.

That was the predicament he was currently in, since their teacher had given them a free period to end the day, so Hinata had decided to press his face against Kageyama’s desk and glare at the rain pounding on the window while Kageyama wrote in his volleyball journal.

“Oi, what’s up with you?” Kageyama squinted at Hinata, tapping his head with the eraser on the back of his pencil.

Hinata let out a long sigh. “I forgot my umbrella.”

“And?”

“What do you mean ‘and’?” He turned his head, resting his chin on his wrists and looking up at Kageyama. “We have a test tomorrow that I have to study for and I’m going to be soaking wet and get sick by the time I get home!”

“Is that all? Just come to mine then. My umbrella’s big enough for both of us and its closer anyways. We can study for the test together.”

“I’m not sure if studying together is really an added benefit.” Hinata giggled.

“Fine, go home, get soaked.” Kageyama huffed. “See if I care.”

Kageyama did, in fact care, and he knew Hinata was right (although neither of them were academically gifted in the slightest so the insult didn’t even count, really). 

It also turns out that the two of them did _not_ fit under Kageyama’s umbrella, as Hinata kept moving around while they walked, and it made his arm almost totally soaked by the time they arrived at Kageyama’s front door.

“Wait here,” Kageyama tells Hinata as they take off their shoes. He goes to his bedroom and plucks a hoodie off of his bed, bringing it back to where Hinata still stands frozen in place.

“So you don’t catch a cold,” he offers, holding the hoodie out. Hinata cautiously reaches out and takes it from him, replacing the damp sweater he’s currently wearing with it.

“Thanks, Kageyama.” He smiles, picking his bag from the floor. “Let’s go study!”

They end up sitting on opposite ends of Kageyama’s couch, the only sounds filling the room being the ticking clock on the wall and the scratching of pencils as they both worked through their math problems.

Kageyama gets through most of the problems relatively unscathed. Even though he doesn’t seem like he’d be good at math, he actually took a liking to it once he realized that all he had to do was learn the method to solve the problem. However about 10 questions in, he got stumped. He redid the troublesome problem three times before he’d had enough.

“Oi, dumbass,” he said, waiting until Hinata lifted his head to look at him. “Did you get the answer to number 10 right?”

Hinata grins excitedly, holding a hand to his chest (like the little shit he is). “Oh, is the high and mighty Kageyama coming to _me_ for math advice?”

Regardless, Hinata scooted over to get a closer look at his notebook, leaning in close to look over Kageyama’s shoulder at his lap.

Kageyama can feel every inch of Hinata that’s pressed up against him, and it makes him feel like he’s on fire. The weight of Hinata’s tiny body pressed against his side, the tickle of his hair on his cheek from where he’s looking down at the book, it’s all too distracting and he begins to tone out Hinata’s voice as he tries to figure out where Kageyama is going wrong in his math problem.

“Kageyama?” Hinata leans back, trying to recapture his attention, and before he knows it, Hinata is pulling away, the warmth is retreating but Kageyama hasn’t had enough.

He instinctively reaches out and grabs Hinata by the back of his hoodie, a plea to stay.

He can feel his face heat up as Hinata looks at him with wide amber eyes, his expression blank. He blinks a few times, then seems to understand Kageyama’s unspoken wants, almost like they do with volleyball.

He reaches over for his own notebook and then presses gets comfortable, pressing himself more firmly against Hinata’s side, an unspoken I’m here.

The pressure floods his senses, making him feel like he’s floating and crashing back down to earth at the same time. Hinata’s warmth grounds him, keeping them both rooted to the spot on the couch as they go back to work without a word.

It’s an inefficient system, they keep bumping elbows as they write and Kageyama gets an elbow in his side, but Hinata ends up with one too many papercuts on his arm, so they call it even. Eventually, their work is done, and the rain has slowed to a halt, which means Hinata has to leave.

There’s no mention of the hours they spent glued to each other’s sides, or of Hinata still being drowned in Kageyama’s hoodie. Kageyama isn’t even sure if he’s ever going to get it back, or even if he really wants it back, but he doesn’t mention it. He kind of likes the way the sleeves are too long for Hinata’s hands anyways.

He waves goodbye as he watches Hinata’s back grow smaller as he cycles away, ignoring the cold he feels on his left side.

-

After the rain, something unspoken happens between them. Kageyama can’t quite put his finger on it, but Hinata acts different all the sudden. He seems more cautious, stealing glances when he thinks he won’t get caught. He’s more demanding, tugging on Kageyama’s sleeve during practice to demand tosses. He’s more daring, standing as close to Kageyama’s side every chance he gets.

The first time Kageyama notices is when they’re walking to class after practice the very next day. The time they spent huddled close together remains unspoken between them, and he’s sure Hinata isn’t going to bring it up, given how enthusiastically he’s talking about what he watched on TV the night before.

But Hinata keeps bumping his shoulder against Kageyama’s arm, giving fleeting moments of contact. He finally settles down once they’re in a busy hallway, but instead he walks so close to Kageyama that his hands brush against him. He can swear he feels Hinata’s pinky finger extended, reaching to trail against his palm before retreating back into Hinata’s fist.

The next time is during practice, when Hinata tugs him over to the net, demanding one hundred tosses. Hinata demanding tosses is nothing out of the usual, only Hinata practically wraps his arm in a hug as he’s being dragged across the gym, and he lingers like that for longer than necessary.

At lunch, Hinata stretches his legs out under Kageyama’s desk, hooking his feet between Kageyama’s ankles and not even mentioning it. During class, he begins passing notes, holding his hand behind his back until Kageyama reaches out and takes it. During practice, he pats Kageyama on the back and gives more high fives than before.

After the rain, it seems like touch had just been something he and Hinata did. On Kageyama’s part, nothing changed. He never reached out, never initiated, but somehow Hinata just _knew_ what Kageyama wanted, what he needed.

-

The next time it rains, Kageyama is the one having an off day.

He’d left his homework at home, his umbrella had been blown over by the wind, and his tosses were all off during morning practice. He’d gotten so frustrated after a third missed toss to Hinata that he’d just decided to quit while he’s ahead and sulk off to their classroom.

Hinata had come in 20 minutes later, chatting with another one of their classmates before taking his seat, not even saying a word to Tobio. He feels his stomach start to sink from being ignored, but he tries to push it aside and take his notebook out from his bag. He can see Hinata already scribbling a note and tearing the corner of the page.

Hinata’s hand reaches behind him, holding the scrap of paper in his fist, ready for Kageyama to take it from him. He takes it gently, relishing in the spark that erupts from where their fingers touch. He squints at Hinata, silently willing him to turn around, but to no avail.

He unfurls the paper and smooths out the wrinkles, revealing what Hinata wrote:

_Can I come over later?_

Underneath is a crude sketch of the two of them standing under an umbrella (he can only tell from Hinata’s depiction of their contrasting expressions – him grumpy while Hinata is all smiles).

He crumples the note and places it on the corner of his desk. If Hinata wants to come over, he can ask himself instead of passing notes like a bunch of grade school children.

His mood sours even further as the lesson begins (literature – his worst subject even though Takeda-sensei had really tried to help). The teacher moves to collect homework (which he had forgotten to do) before moving onto a discussion of the themes of the assigned readings. About half the lesson passes before he notices another note has joined the first one on his desk. This one is folded in half, with a volleyball drawn on the front with red and green pen.

_Please????_

Tobio returns it back to its spot on his desk. He refuses to give Hinata the satisfaction of responding to his notes when he’d been thoroughly ignored this morning, so he lets them just sit there for the duration of class. He gives the same treatment to the next note, and the one after that, until he has a pile notes cluttering up his desk. After the third he gave up on reading them, so when class ends, he sweeps them off his desk and into his bag, ignoring Hinata’s eyes boring holes into him from across the room.

The notes don’t continue into their second lesson, and Hinata doesn’t speak to him either. As soon as the bell rings to signal lunch, he grabs his food and heads to a secluded hallway to eat.

The thing is, he _knows_ he’s being a bit of a drama queen, his day hasn’t even been that bad so far. It’s still not going to stop him from ruminating in his bad mood, eating his lunch with only the rain pounding on the window to keep him company.

The rest of the day is uneventful, until it’s time to go home and he realizes that yes, it’s still raining and yes, his umbrella is still broken. He looks out the window while he changes his shoes, trying to come up with a solution to his predicament when someone pokes him in the side.

“Scowling at the weather won’t make it get any better.” Hinata is already dressed and ready to leave, sporting a raincoat over his uniform. His arm is extended towards Kageyama with an umbrella in his hand, a peace offering. “Let me walk you home. We can share.”

Kageyama is pretty sure his scowl deepens, but he takes the umbrella and marches towards the door.

He holds the umbrella high above them as they fetch Hinata’s bike and walk to his house, not caring if Hinata gets wet this time. When they get to his house, he’s prepared to shove the umbrella at Hinata and shoo him off, but the little gremlin races inside as soon as the door is open, shouting ‘sorry for the intrusion’ as he kicks off his shoes and runs into the kitchen.

“I’m making some tea!” his voice calls throughout the hall. Kageyama toes off his shoes and tiptoes past the kitchen, glancing in to see Hinata bullying himself as he puts on the kettle and collects them some mugs. He shrugs, figuring he won’t be getting rid of him anytime soon, and sulks off to the living room, collapsing on the couch and throwing an arm over his eyes. He just wants the day to be over, but now he’s stuck entertaining Hinata for god knows how long.

He closes his eyes, willing the time to pass by at any speed faster than a crawl. Eventually, Hinata nudges a knee to his side, causing him to roll over at the impact and peak up at the mug being thrust towards him.

“Sit up.” Hinata insists, placing both mugs on the coffee table. He pushes Kageyama’s legs off the couch and settles onto the opposite end. Kageyama waits for Hinata to talk, expecting either an explanation or a scolding, but he doesn’t expect Hinata to dig through his bag for homework, decidedly staring at his textbook instead of talking.

“You should drink it before it gets cold.” Hinata nods at the tea, pointedly taking a sip from his own mug before turning back to his book. Kageyama is pretty sure he’s not even actually reading it, given the speed at which he’s flipping through the pages. He reluctantly sits up and pulls his legs in close to him, taking the mug from the table.

“You keep ignoring me,” Kageyama takes a sip of his tea. It’s cooled down and tastes bitter on his tongue, almost like the day he’s had.

“I think what I was doing was giving you some space,” Hinata says pointedly, closing his book so he can properly face Kageyama. “You came to school this morning soaking wet and grumpy, were off all practice, then you stormed off to class in the morning, I figured it was better to leave you be. Plus, you didn’t answer any of the notes I gave you in class. Did you even read them?”

He looks guiltily down into his mug. He’d just let the notes pile up during class and then shoved them into his bag as soon as he’d gotten the chance. He’d also avoided Hinata at lunch to eat alone.

“So why are you here then?”

Hinata laughs. “Because, _baka_. I know you better than you think.”

He must see Kageyama’s furrowed brows because he turns his body so he’s completely facing Hinata. “ _Because,”_ he emphasizes, “I know when you’re having a bad day, and I know that you definitely don’t know how to ask for things that you want.”

“Hmmph.” Kageyama grunts. “I don’t _need_ anything, I’d be fine on my own you know.”

Hinata laughs before he reaches forward, taking the half finished tea from Kageyama’s hands and placing it back on the table. He loops his arms around Kageyama’s shoulders and pulls them both down until they lie against the back of the sofa, Kageyama’s head pressed against Hinata’s chest. When they’re sitting close like this, Kageyama can’t tell if his face is hot from all the blood rushing to his head or from the warmth Hinata exudes.

“Just because you don’t _need_ something doesn’t mean you can’t ask for it. You know I’m here for you when you need me, right?”

Kageyama ignores his question, choosing instead to grab a fistful of Hinata’s shirt, not care about the wrinkles it’ll cause in his uniform. Hinata’s chest really _was_ warm, and he couldn’t deny that it felt nice to be pressed up together like this, but something nagged at him that he shouldn’t be doing this, that he shouldn’t have to have Hinata basically force him into getting over his bad day.

“You don’t have to,” is all he says, his voice barely above a whisper. Despite his words, his grip on Hinata’s shirt tightens.

“But do you want to stop?” Hinata nudges at his chin so he looks up and meets his eye before shaking his head gently.

“Good, neither do I.”

Hinata strokes the side of his face, coaxing him into closing his eyes and turning his head to rest his cheek against Hinata’s shirt. He breathes in deeply, taking in the faint scent of fabric softener on Hinata’s school shirt. Hinata’s hands move to his back, his fingers gently trailing his spine.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Kageyama squeezes his eyes shut. “It’s stupid.”

“I’m here to listen.”

So he tells Hinata about the rain and wind, and how he was powerless against it, left shivering as he got to school. He tells him about how in practice he still had goosebumps on his skin that distracted him from sending his best tosses, how he forgot to do his homework, and how he felt like he was completely ignored throughout the day. He feels ridiculous voicing it all out loud, so he huffs out an exhale when he’s done. “I told you it was stupid.”

“But it made you feel bad, so it’s not really.” Hinata’s comment is followed more silence, and it becomes almost suffocating to Kageyama. No one has ever done this for him, taken care of him when he had a bad day, noticed how he wouldn’t ask for things for himself and taken the first step, so he doesn’t know how to respond. He tries to lie completely still, his limbs growing heavy, but Hinata’s body heat is going to lull him to sleep if he isn’t careful, and he knows he’d probably be too weak to resist it. Still, his eyes begin to droop closed as it becomes way too effortful to keep his eyes open.

A low rumbling from beneath rouses him from his sleepy state, and Hinata’s laugh reaches his ears. He sits up to glare at Hinata, being met with another giggle.

“Sorry, you just looked almost cute for a second.”

Kageyama is weighing his option on whether or not to throw a pillow at Hinata when he’s interrupted by his own stomach growling. He sits up fully then, ignoring the absence of warm limbs, and trudges on to the kitchen, beckoning for Hinata to follow as he prepares them snacks.

“You know,” Hinata says in between slurping the instant ramen Kageyama had prepared. “Just _tell_ me when you’re having an off day next time. You know I won’t get mad, right?”

“Yeah.” Kageyama hums, looking down into his noodles. He cleans up their dishes when they’re finished while Hinata goes back to the living room, and when he’s done, he finds Hinata sprawled out with his legs on the coffee table.

_Just because you don’t need something doesn’t mean you can’t ask for it._

Hinata’s voice rings out in his mind for a second before he takes the plunge, flopping down on the couch beside Hinata and letting his head rest on Hinata’s thigh.

Soft hands find his hair and he looks up to be greeted by a smile, and he decides then and there that maybe next time, he _will_ ask.

**Author's Note:**

> suggested title: "i'm not projecting i swear"
> 
> come yell about kagehina with me on twitter @HQcharbon


End file.
